Words in Transition

Repetition is another way of knitting together a paragraph. A sprinkling of key words and phrases improves coherence by keeping the main point in front of the reader in the most obvious way. The repeated key word is italicized.

Tears of hurt and frustration pricked at the corner of my eyes as the now-familiar pain seared my leg. I sat down and looked around the room: beige walls, beige ceiling, beige floor tiles. In one corner was a small cot with a beige bedspread, and in the opposite corner a sink, mirror, and beige waste basket. The shades were drawn and the lights were much dimmer than they had been in the hall. Gradually I relaxed and waited. - Laura LaPierre, student

Use Parallel Structure

Parallel structure is repetition of a certain kind; it is repetition in a series. Parallelism can occur on the word, phrase, clause, or whole-sentence level (see SENT 6a). In the following paragraph Ardrey’s use of parallelism knits the sentences into a seamless whole; sentences 1 through 4 use one pattern of parallelism, and sentences 5 and 6 another. The parallel structures are italicized.

(1) The male herring gull is a creature of sufficient ingenuity that if he picks up a mussel with a shell too hard for his beak to break, he will carry it to a height and drop it on a hard rock. (2) He is a creature of sufficient loyalty and perception to guarantee that he will never attack his own mate, and will recognize her among dozens flying into the colony at a distance to defy human binoculars. (3) He is a creature of sufficient social sophistication that, while many arrive in the spring already paired, definite areas in the colony which Tinbergen calls” clubs” will be set aside as meeting places for the unpaired. (4) He is a creature also, as we have seen, of such sensitive social adjustment that the arriving flock will make “decisions” of mood and readiness as if it were one being. (5) So dependent is the herring gull on the community of his citizenship that he would probably be unable to breed were he to return in the spring to the wrong gull town. (6) So powerful and incomprehensible is his attachment for home that, like the albatross, a pair may return year after year to nest in precisely the same spot, although the North Sea’s winter storms will have effaced all landmarks to guide his eye. - Robert Ardrey, “Herring Gull”

Use Transitions in Link Paragraphs

Just as transitions are used to link sentences within a paragraph, so are they used to link paragraphs themselves. Because each new paragraph indicates a further progression of thought in the composition, transitions help the reader follow along. In the passage that follows, transitions are used to link the first and second paragraphs and the second and third paragraphs; the transitions are italicized.

The age of television began in Canada in 1952, five years behind the United States, when a station in Montreal, and one in Toronto two days later, signed onto the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. A third station in Vancouver went on the air three days later.

However, television broadcasting in the 1950s was a far cry from what it is today. Shows were in black and white (Canada didn’t begin colour broadcasting until 1966), they were broadcast live and, as you might suspect, there were more than a few bugs to work out of the system.

Currently, television is a staple of Canadian life. Ninety-nine per cent of all Canadian households have at least one television set, and Canada’s longest running television show, Hockey Night in Canada, has been on the air over 40 years.

WPTips

Testing for Transitional Words

Test the coherence of your composition by putting the transitional words and phrases in boldface or underlining them. If you have surprisingly few, you may need to strengthen the connections between your thoughts by adding transitions, both within paragraphs and between them.

Transitional words and phrases connect units of thought - within a sentence, between sentences, and among paragraphs. In other words, transitions signal relationships, and thus can be categorized by their functions. In revising your composition (see COMP 4a), check that you use a transition everywhere one is needed to establish a logical connection between ideas, and that you use the correct transitional word. For example, do not use also (showing an addition) when you really want similarly (to compare two things), or however (showing contrast) when you really need although (to show concession).

The following list presents some of the more common transitional words and expressions categorized by meaning. (Some words are listed in more than one category because their meaning varies with context.)

ADDITION and, again, too, also, in addition, further, furthermore, moreover, besides

CAUSE AND EFFECT therefore, consequently thus, accordingly, as a result, hence, then, so

COMPARISON similarly, likewise, by comparison

CONCESSION although, to be sure, granted, of course, it is true, to tell the truth, certainly, with the exception of, although this may be true, even though, naturally

CONTRAST but, however, at the same time, in contrast, on the contrary, on the other hand, yet, nevertheless, after all, in spite of, conversely, still

EXAMPLE for example, for instance, one case of

TIME afterward, later, earlier, subsequently, at the same time, immediately, this time, until now, shortly, currently, lately, in the meantime

PLACE elsewhere, here, above, below, farther on, there, beyond, nearby, opposite to, around

CLARIFICATION that is, in other words, in simpler terms, to put it differently, simply stated, partly

SEQUENCE first, second, third [(NOT) firstly, secondly, and so on], next, finally, following, then, in time

SUMMARY in conclusion, to conclude, to summarize, in brief, in short

The transitional words and phrases in the following paragraph are italicized. To test how important they are in showing relationships among the ideas in the paragraph, try omitting them or substituting others.

Your only reason for starting your own business, in the first place, is to work for yourself and to make money. In other words, you are ambitious, desire a good income, and are eager to climb the ladder to success. Your success will depend on your goals, your skills, and your determination. However, your formula for success must be put into practice. Therefore, get started! Later, you’ll be able to look back at this time in your life and realize that, right now, you’ve made a decision that has started you on the road to financial security and personal independence.

When something coheres it fits together, it makes sense. Coherence in a paragraph is achieved when the sentences flow smoothly from one to another without awkward breaks in rhythm or meaning.

Coherence is achieved by arranging sentences in the most effective order, using transitional words and phrases, repeating key words and phrases, and using parallel structures. These techniques knit the sentences of a paragraph into a tight structure. Coherence is also a feature of the essay as a whole and is achieved by using transitions to link paragraphs. As originally written the following paragraph lacked coherence; it seemed to jump from idea to idea. In the revision, coherence is achieved by (1) repositioning a sentence, (2) repeating a key phrase, and (3) adding a transition.

Arrange Sentence in the most Effective Order

At the most basic level, coherence in a paragraph comes from organizing the ideas and facts in a sensible pattern. Sentences in a paragraph are usually arranged according to one of three patterns: (1) a chronological (time) order, (2) a spatial order, or (3) a logical order. The most suitable arrangement depends on purpose, subject, and audience. Whichever pattern you choose, follow it consistently and thoughtfully to knit the ideas and elements of your paragraph into a seamless whole that your reader can easily follow.

Chronological Order

Chronological order, or time order, presents events as they occurred.

A personal story, a report on an automobile accident or historical event, and the steps in a process, for example, would naturally be related in chronological order. In the following paragraph Ming-Yee Wai uses chronological order to tell about a disturbing memory.

I clearly remember my sixth birthday because Dad was in the hospital with pneumonia. He was working so hard he paid very little attention to his health. As a result, he spent almost the entire summer before I entered the first grade in the hospital. Mom visited him nightly. On my birthday I was allowed to see him. I have memories of sitting happily in the lobby of the hospital talking to the nurses, telling them with a big smile that I was going to see my dad because it was my birthday. I couldn’t wait to see him because children under 12 were not allowed to visit patients, so I had not seen him in a long time. When I entered the hospital room, I saw tubes inserted into his nose and needles stuck in his arm. He was very, very thin. I was frightened and wanted to cry, but I was determined to have a good visit. So I stayed for a while, and he wished me a happy birthday. When it was time to go, I kissed him good-bye and waited until I left his room to cry. - Grace Ming-Yee Wai, “Chinese Puzzle”

Spatial Order

Spatial order is used to describe a person, place, or thing. The writer begins at a particular point and moves methodically in one direction, say, from top to bottom, left to right, far to near, front to back, outside to inside, or, as in the following paragraph, from the perimeter of the yard towards its centre.

My back yard, compared to others in the neighborhood, wasn’t large.

It measured 70 metres in length and was about 45 metres wide. In the winter, all of my mother’s gardens which lined our lot were covered with snow. The old clothesline, where my mother hung our laundry to dry in the summer, stood at the back of the lot, unused and lonely. The only thing that was important to me in our back yard, right in the middle, was the tiny skating rink my father made for me and flooded every night. In my dreams, this rink was the first step towards the National Hockey League.

Logical Order

A logical pattern of organization can take many forms, depending on the subject matter and the writer’s purpose. In organizing a paragraph, it may be most logical to move from the easiest to understand aspects of the subject to the most difficult, from the least important examples to the most important, from the specific to the general or from the general to the specific, or from the least controversial elements to the most controversial, to name just a few possible patterns.

The following paragraph begins with a strong but general topic sentence; each sentence thereafter narrows the subject until the last zeroes in on the writer’s point.

There is scarcely a corner of human affairs that Shakespeare doesn’t touch upon, nor a topic for which he fails to supply a memorable quote. All of this has led, predictably, to every trade and profession claiming him for their own. There have been any number of attempts to prove that before he turned his hand to writing plays he was a lawyer, a soldier, a physician, an astronomer, a printer, a sportsman, a gardener, and heaven alone knows what else. And of all of these guesses as to what he did at Stratford before coming to his London career, one that seems nearest the mark is gardening. This does not mean, of course, that he would tramp off of a morning, spade and hoe slung over his shoulder like a pikeman’s weapons, to delve in the soil of Lord So-and-so’s gardens and orchards. What it does imply is that Shakespeare was a countryman long familiar with the growth of plants in woodlands, fields, and cottage and kitchen gardens. He may well have tended a garden of his own. -Frank J. Anderson, “Shakespeare in the Garden”

Comparison and Contrast

The purpose of any comparison and contrast is to make clear the superiority of one thing over another or to explain something unfamiliar by comparing it to something familiar. A comparison-contrast takes one of two basic patterns: AA/BB or AB/ AB. In the first pattern all the characteristics of A are presented, followed by all the characteristics of B. In the second pattern one characteristic of A is compared or contrasted with its counterpart in B, the next characteristic of A with its counterpart in B, and so forth. Use the AA/BB pattern if you think the reader can remember all the points of A while reading about B; if not, the AB/ AB pattern is probably a better choice.

In the following paragraph, the AA/BB pattern is used to compare the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary and the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary is among the oldest police forces in Canada. It was established in 1872, and patrols the Newfoundland cities of St. John’s, Labrador City and Corner Brook. Its present strength is close to 375 officers. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police was formed in 1873 as the North West Mounted Police. The RCMP presently polices all Canadian communities that don’t have their own police forces. The strength of the RCMP is approximately 15,600 officers.

In her essay on communicating with family and friends, Goodman uses the AB/ AB alternating pattern of development.

Sometimes I think the telephone call is as earthbound as daily dialogue, while a letter is an exchange of gifts. On the telephone you talk; in a letter you tell. There is a pace to letter writing and reading that doesn’t come from the telephone company but from our own inner rhythm. - Ellen Goodman, “Life in a Bundle of Letters”

An analogy is a special kind of comparison. It points out certain similarities between a difficult concept and another that is more familiar and concrete to enable the reader to understand the difficult one.

In the following paragraph, the game of hockey is described by using a war analogy.

Ice hockey is war - war on skates, maybe, or war on ice-but war nevertheless. From the time the puck is dropped at centre ice, the troops on both sides flash up and down the ice in their colourful uniforms, eliminating each other from the play with crushing body checks and intricate manoeuvres with skate and stick. The forwards, the front line troops, pressure the defenders into conceding territory, into abandoning the puck, into surrendering that one good shot on goal that will lead to victory. The general stands calmly behind the bench, directing his old war horses and green recruits, calling for the rearguards to tighten the line, sending in reinforcements to hold the trenches. Make no mistake, hockey may be only a game, but the only goal is the defeat of the enemy at the other end of the rink.

Classification

To classify is to categorize, to group people, ideas, facts-anything-on the basis of some system. The basis of classification is an integral part of the process. In the following paragraph, Cleary, a student, places all stereo buyers into four categories on the basis of why they buy. (In subsequent paragraphs he discusses each type in detail.)

As stereo equipment gets better and prices go down, stereo systems are becoming household necessities rather than luxuries. People are buying stereos by the thousands. During my year as a stereo salesman, I witnessed this boom firsthand. I dealt with hundreds of customers, and it didn’t take long for me to learn that people buy stereos for different reasons. Eventually, though, I was able to divide all the stereo buyers into four basic categories: the wattage buyer, the quality buyer, the price buyer, and the looks buyer. - Gerald Cleary, student

Cause and Effect

A cause-and-effect paragraph shows the relationship between events. The focus may be on cause by naming it in the topic sentence and following with its effects. Or the focus may be the other way around, with an effect given in the topic sentence followed by its causes.

The following paragraph on sleep begins with an effect, and follows with the reasons for it.

Why do students who get a good night’s sleep before a test or exam seem to do better than those who regularly pull “all-nighters”? The reason probably involves the fact that your brain is hard at work while you’re sleeping, even if you aren’t. Studies conducted by the Better Sleep Council in the United States indicate that the brain may actually be more active when you are asleep than when you are awake. Deep sleep and dreaming are reported to be important to learning and memory-the brain seems to store information acquired during waking hours and to organize it while you sleep. Canadian studies indicate that “all-nighters” don’t produce good results next day. So get a good night’s sleep before your next exam-but don’t forget to study.

Mixed Strategies

Often logic dictates that you use a combination of strategies to develop your topic sentence. In the paragraph that follows, Smith uses cause and effect, informational process analysis, statistics, and a hypothetical case in point (a kind of example) to develop her topic sentence, They [cockroaches] reproduce at a truly amazing rate.

Cockroaches give credence to the old adage that there is safety in numbers. They reproduce at a truly amazing rate. About two months after mating, a new generation of cockroaches is born. One cockroach can produce about two dozen offspring each time it mates. To get some idea of their reproductive power, imagine that you start with three pairs of cockroaches that mate. Approximately three weeks after mating the females lay their eggs, which hatch some forty-five days later. If we assume two dozen eggs from each female, the first generation would number seventy-two offspring. These roaches would continue to multiply geometrically so that by year’s end the colony’s population would total more than ten thousand cockroaches. Stopping the process is almost impossible because even if we annihilate the adult population, a new generation still in egg form would be in the making. - Courtney Smith, student

Facts, Statistics, Reasons

A fact is a piece of information with objective reality. Statistics are numerical facts. A reason is a statement offered as a logical explanation or justification. Facts, statistics, and reasons can be used singly or in combination, as in the following example.

The whale is the most astonishing animal the earth has ever known. It does not merely inspire superlatives-it is a living superlative. Some whales are much larger than the gigantic dinosaurs of the Mesozoic. It would take 25 elephants, or 2000 human beings, to equal the weight of a single blue whale; its tongue alone weighs as much as an elephant. The blue whale is as long as four buses placed end to end. The skeleton weighs 18 tons, its blubber 30, its meat 44. When it blows at the ocean’s surface, the spout looks for all the world like a new cloud in the sky. - Jacques-Yves Cousteau and Yves Paccalet, The Assault on Whales

Definition

Depending on your audience, or sometimes your subject, you may need to define key words in your composition. Sometimes this can be done in a sentence or two, or even parenthetically. Occasionally you may want to provide an extended definition (as in the example that follows). To define a term, first place it in a class of similar items and then show how it is different from the others in that class. For example, a wrist watch is in the class of devices for telling time and is differentiated from other items in this class because it is relatively small and worn on the wrist.

A cough is a reflexive action that clears the airways of mucus, phlegm, or other blockages. There are two types of coughs, productive and dry. The productive cough, producing phlegm, unblocks the airways, while the dry cough, usually caused by a viral infection, irritates the nasal passages. Medication is often the only way to relieve a dry cough, while medication for a productive cough should be avoided.

Process Analvsis

There are two types of process analysis: informational and instructional. Informational process analysis explains how something workshow blood moves through the circulatory system or how tides occur. The following explanation of how champagne was first made and how it has been made ever since is informational.

The next time you find an excuse to break open a bottle of champagne-be it New Year’s, a wedding, or a whim-you might raise your effervescent glass in solemn thanks to one blind Benedictine monk who made it all possible. Three centuries ago there lived in northern France a great blender of wines, Dom Perignon, who served as cellar-master at the Benedictine Abbey of Hautvillers for forty-seven years. For some reason that we may never know, this monk decided one day to seal his bottles with cork instead of the usual cloth soaked in oil. The carbon dioxide that is produced during fermentation could pass through the cloth, but was imprisoned by the new stopper. The result: a sparkling wine. - Caroline Sutton, “How Did They Discover Champagne?”

Instructional process analysis gives directions on how to do something and usually follows a time pattern-first you do this and then you do this (see PARA 3a, Chronological order). Gladstone’s paragraph is instructional, telling step-by-step how to build a good fireplace fire.

Though “experts” differ as to the best technique to follow when building a fire, one generally accepted method consists of first laying a generous amount of crumpled newspaper on the hearth between the andirons. Kindling wood is then spread generously over this layer of newspaper and one of the thickest logs is placed across the back of the andirons. This should be as close to the back of the fireplace as possible, but not quite touching it. A second log is then placed an inch or so in front of this, and a few additional sticks of kindling are laid across these two. A third log is then placed on top to form a sort of pyramid with air spaces between all logs so that flames can lick freely up between them. - Bernard Gladstone, “How to Build a Fire in a Fireplace”

Narration

To narrate is to tell what happened. Because narration is storytelling, it usually follows a chronological pattern, as in the following example. However, the sequence of events can be rearranged for special effect (see PARA 3a).

One thing that I remember clearly about my early youth was the day that my family got its first dial telephone. We lived in the country, in a small southwestern Ontario village named Mitchell’s Bay, and whenever we wanted to call someone in those days, we picked up the telephone and waited for the operator to answer.

“Number, please,” the operator would say.

“754-W1,” I’d answer. That was the number of my friend Brian, who lived about a mile away.

We were on a party line, which we shared with four other families, each with its own ring. When the phone rang twice, it was for us: “ring-ring, ring-ring, ring-ring.” One, three or four rings signaled a call for one of our neighbors. But even when the phone rang twice, you could be sure that other people would listen in. I guess that there wasn’t much else to do back then on a winter’s day in the country.

But the dial phone changed all that. One ring, one family on the line.

The day of the party line was finished. I was so excited about this new dial phone the first day that it went into service that I called my friend at six in the morning. His father answered.

“Just trying it out,” I said.

Like I mentioned, there wasn’t much else to do in the country back then, especially at six in the morning.

Description

To describe is to create a verbal picture of a person, place, thing, or even a mood or idea. Description relies on specific and concrete details to create sensory impressions for the reader (see WORD Ic and PARA 3a, Spatial Order). In the following paragraph, Harry Bruce describes the ferry Trillium:

As she edged away from her slip and picked up speed in the shiny green waters of Lake Ontario, you heard the plash, plash, plash of her paddle wheels. In the railings, in the slats of her wooden benches burnished over the years by a million rumps, you felt the steady, comforting shudder of her engines. The Trillium’s sides were white as a swan, and she was a vision of beauty and business. - Harry Bruce, “Floating Around Canada”

Examples and Illustration

One of the best ways to convince a reader of the validity of a generalization in the topic sentence is to provide examples-specific instances of what you are talking about. In the following paragraph, Teale enumerates eleven superstitions to support the generalization in his topic sentence-that country people have many superstitious ways of predicting what kind of winter it will be.

In the folklore of the country, numerous superstitions relate to winter weather. Back-country farmers examine their husks-the thicker the husk, the colder the winter. They watch the acorn crop-the more acorns, the more severe the season. They observe where white-faced hornets place their paper nests-the higher they are, the deeper will be the snow. They examine the size and shape and colour of the spleens of butchered hogs for clues to the severity of the season. They keep track of the blooming of the dogwood in the spring-the more abundant the blooms, the more bitter the cold in January. When chipmunks carry their tails high and squirrels have heavier fur, the superstitious gird themselves for a long, hard winter. Without any scientific basis, a wider-than-usual black band on a woolly-bear caterpillar is accepted as a sign that winter will arrive early and stay late. - Edwin Way Teale, “Wandering through Winter”

Sometimes a single, extended example - called an illustration-is more effective.

I have always wondered why my best friends were so important to me; but it wasn’t until recently that something happened to make me really understand my relationship with my best friends. My father died, and this was a crisis for me. Most of my friends gave me their condolences. But my best friends did more than that: they actually supported me. They called long distance to see how I was and what I needed, to try to help me work out my problems or simply to talk. Two of my best friends even took time from their spring break and, along with two other best friends, attended my father’s memorial service; none of my other friends came. Since then, these are the only people who have continued to worry about me and talk about my father. I know that whenever I need someone, they will be there and willing to help me. I know also that whenever they need help, I will be ready to do the same for them. - Howard Solomon, Jr., student

Whether it is first or last or someplace in the middle, whether it has a transitional element, or whether it is explicitly stated or merely implied, the topic sentence is the point of departure for writing an effective paragraph. How you develop-clarify and support-your topic sentence depends on how you answer the question, “Why or how is this so?” Consider, for example, the following topic sentence:

Neat people are especially vicious with mail.

Applying the question, “Why or how is this so?” suggests a strategy for development: the writer needs to tell how “neat people are vicious with mail.”

Neat people are especially vicious with mail. They never go through their mail unless they are standing directly over a trash can. If the trash can is beside the mailbox, even better. All ads, catalogues, pleas for charitable contributions, church bulletins, and money-saving coupons go straight into the trash can without being opened. All letters from home, postcards from Europe, bills and paycheques are opened, immediately responded to, then dropped in the trash can. Neat people keep their receipts only for tax purposes. That’s it. No sentimental salvaging of birthday cards or the last letter a dying relative ever wrote. Into the trash it goes. - Suzanne Britt, “Neat People vs. Sloppy People”

Develop Paragraphs Fully

In expository prose (prose that explains), a paragraph is typically 100-150 words. Longer paragraphs appear in professional journals that discuss new or highly complex information requiring more in-depth explanation and evidence. Paragraphs are shorter in newspapers and magazines where the print column is narrow and needs to be broken more of ten, and where the subject matter is less demanding of the reader.

Occasionally a paragraph is too long and needs to be divided or restructured for clarity. The more common problem is the underdeveloped paragraph that leaves the reader wanting more information.

Underdeveloped

It is considerably easier to forge a cheque in your name than you might think. Forgery is a form of fraud, and the number of fraud-related offences has climbed from 17436 in 1971 to 875250 in 1991, the last year for which figures are currently available. It’s also easy for a fraud artist to use your credit card number.

The topic sentence in the preceding paragraph sets up an idea and a plan for developing it, but more information is needed to convince the reader to be careful when writing cheques. A fully developed version of the paragraph follows. The writer adds details about cheque forgery, showing how easy it is to forge a name or an amount on a cheque.

Well Developed

It is considerably easier to forge a cheque in your name than you might think. Many people make it a lot easier for the forgers by not paying attention to proper procedures for protecting themselves. For instance, a pickpocket is able to obtain a copy of your signature when your wallet is stolen, and can easily forge this signature on a blank cheque made out to Cash. Cheques that have been filled out and signed can be altered with little difficulty: simply add zero to $20, for example, if you have left room for extra figures on your cheque. This type of forgery is common: the number of fraud-related offences in Canada climbed from 17436 in 1971 to 875 250 in 1991. So be careful when writing your cheques: someone may be waiting to take advantage of your carelessness.

To be sure you have provided enough information to enlighten and convince the reader-and thus communicate all you intend-ask a friend to read your composition and point out anything that is not explained clearly or fully enough.

A paragraph may be only a sentence or two long and still be well developed. Such paragraphs often function as transitions from one section of a composition to another. Sometimes, too, as in the following example, a very short paragraph is used to emphasize a point.

From modest beginnings more than two decades ago, computer networks have spread to form an enormous global web. Many users log on to Internet, a system of tens of thousands of networks crammed with scientific and scholarly information as well as thousands of discussion forums or news groups. - Mark Nichols, “Welcome to Cyberspace”

In his next paragraph, one of normal length, Nichols continues by discussing the spread of Internet across Canada and the world.

A paragraph is unified when all its sentences develop, or expand on, the central idea in some way. No sentence is off the topic.

Notice how every sentence in the following paragraph develops the topic sentence; it is a unified paragraph.

My husband and I often joke that the reason we have stayed married for so long is that we continually mystify each other with responses and attitudes that are plainly due to our different backgrounds. For years I frustrated him with unpredictable silences and accusing looks. I felt a great reluctance to tell him what I wanted or what needed to be done in the home. I was inwardly furious that I was being put into the position of having to tell him what to do. I felt my femaleness, in the Japanese sense, was being degraded. I did not want to be the authority. That would be humiliating for him and for me. He, on the other hand, considering the home to be under my dominion, in the North American sense, did not dare to impose on me what he wanted. He wanted me to tell him or make a list, like his parents did in his home. - Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston, “Living in Two Cultures”

The plan of the paragraph is clear: Houston’s first sentence states her belief that culture shapes our attitudes and our responses. Then she gives reasons:

1. She could not tell her husband what she wanted, so she remained silent and gave accusing looks.
2. She did not want the authority of having to tell him what to do.
3. Her femaleness, in the Japanese sense, was threatened by his attitude.
4. He considered, in the North American sense, that the woman ran the house.
5. He did not want to impinge on her role.
6. He wanted to be told what to do or be given a list.

WPTips

Testing for Unity

If you think that there are sentences in any of your paragraphs that may be unnecessary and might be eliminated, block them off, move them out of the paragraph, and read the new paragraph. If the paragraph is tight, with no gaps in logic, eliminate the sentences permanently.

No matter where you finally decide to place your topic sentence, begin with one in mind. Then, as you write, you will zero in on what you want to say in this portion of your paper. Usually, the topic sentence is at or near the beginning of the paragraph; this way, the writer lets the reader know the direction of thought and function of the other sentences in the paragraph. The topic sentence may, however, come anywhere in the paragraph, particularly if you want to create a special effect.

In the following paragraph the topic sentence (shown in italics) comes first, and the anecdote that follows illustrates how bees astonish us.

Bees are filled with astonishments, confounding anyone who studies them, producing volumes of anecdotes. A lady of our acquaintance visited her sister, who raised honeybees. They left their car on a side road, suited up in protective gear, and walked across the fields to have a look at the hives. For reasons unknown, the bees were in a furious mood that afternoon, attacking in platoons, settling on them from all sides. Let us walk away slowly, advised the beekeeper sister, they’ll give it up sooner or later. They walked until beefree, then circled the fields and went back to the car, and found bees there, waiting for them. - Lewis Thomas, “Clever Animals”

The topic sentence may be most effective at the end of the paragraph when the writer wishes to create a sense of drama or suspense, or when, as in the following paragraph, the main idea is introduced by a convincing example.

Consider, for a moment, the variety of Canada’s forests. This country is home to 31 species of coniferous trees, including the pine, hemlock, cedar and the majestic Douglas Fir of the west coast. In addition, we have over 100 species of deciduous trees, among which are numbered 10 varieties of maple in our vast forests, four of oak, and five of hickory. If these forests aren’t preserved, future generations will know the grandeur of our forests as nothing more than cold statistics.

Often the topic sentence is preceded by a transitional sentence or contains a transitional clause referring to the previous paragraph, as here:

Soon after suffering her greatest disappointment in the pool, Sylvie Frechette decided to take on the world of synchronized swimming. She created a sensation by swimming to French songs, something unheard of in the mid-1980s. She made herself, as well as her routine, conspicuous when she wore bright, colourful swimsuits in competition. And she began to win.

The first part of the topic sentence looks back: soon after suffering her greatest disappointment in the pool; the clause Sylvie Frechette decided to take on the world of synchronized swimming shapes and controls what follows. By providing this transition, the line of thought in the paragraph is easily developed. Sylvie Frechette came back from disappointment, took control of her swimming routine, and after swimming to French songs and wearing bright, colourful swimsuits, she began to win, telling the reader exactly how she decided to take on the world of synchronized swimming.

Topic sentences are explicitly stated in most paragraphs, but on occasion, particularly in narrative or descriptive paragraphs, a writer may merely imply a controlling idea. In the following paragraph, the writer carefully chooses details that will lead the reader to arrive at the main idea without the writer having to state it specifically. Leading the reader along until the point dawns on him or her can often have a much greater impact than a straightforward statement.

You are standing on the threshold of time in as sacred a place as any in the world. It’s where the life of the land and the life of the water converge in biological blur. These are the wetlands-the swamps and the mudflats that sometimes smell like rotten eggs. These are the marshes, clogged with weeds, swarming with bugs, teeming with beautiful life. This is where the moon moves the water in shallow ebbs and floods; where the sun pierces down to the ooze and the nutrients flow in a strange and marvelous way. Nowhere else except here in these sopping grounds is there so much life in so much concentration. But the life is dwindling. And as these lands start to go-you do, too. - Sierra Club, “Threshold of Time”

Through cumulative detail that strongly appeals to the senses, this writer conveys the controlling idea that marshes and wetlands are fascinating and ecologically important, and people ought to be concerned about them. The controlling idea is conveyed even though it is not explicitly stated.

WPTips

Boldfacing Topic Sentences

If you are having trouble with unity or coherence while drafting your paragraphs, boldface or underline the topic sentence in each of your paragraphs. By calling special attention to each topic sentence you see how the other sentences in the paragraph relate to the topic sentence and to each other.

In many ways the paragraph is an essay in miniature. The paragraph has a topic sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph in the same way that the thesis statement presents the main point of the essay. Like the well-written essay, the well-written paragraph is unified-all sentences relate to the main idea (PARA 1); it is well developed-there is apt and sufficient supporting detail (PARA 2); and it is coherent-ideas and sentences flow logically and smoothly (PARA 3).

The following paragraph on the life cycle of neighborhoods, by Kevin Cunningham, a university student, is an example of a well-written paragraph.

Neighborhoods are often assigned human characteristics, one of which is a life cycle: they have a birth, a youth, a middle age, and an old age. A neighborhood is built and settled by young, vibrant people, proud of their sturdy new homes. Together, residents and houses mature, as families grow larger and additions get built on. Eventually, though, the neighborhood begins to show its age. Buildings sag a little, houses aren’t repaired as quickly, and maintenance slips. The neighborhood may grow poorer, as the young and upwardly mobile find new jobs and move away, while the older and less successful inhabitants remain. - Kevin Cunningham, student

Cunningham provides a clear topic sentence that explains what he means by a life cycle. He then goes on to describe the stages of that cycle and the process by which one stage leads to the next. Cunningham maintains unity by excluding anything that does not directly relate to the concept of the life cycle. He achieves coherence by ordering his sentences to flow smoothly without breaks in rhythm or meaning and by using transitional words (and, as, eventually, while).

Paragraph Unity

The topic sentence presents the main idea of the paragraph. It is also called the controlling idea because it limits the subject of the paragraph and, like the thesis statement, suggests ways of developing the thought. The topic sentence of each paragraph should be an outgrowth of the thesis statement.

Topic Sentence

There were three classes of people in Medieval society.

What is a “best friend”?

After I bought a computer, the grades I received for my English essays were much better than they had been.

Implied Strategy of Development

You will name the three classes and describe each one.

You will define “best friend.” You will contrast your grades before and after you bought a computer.

In a unified paragraph all sentences relate to the topic sentence by explaining it with facts, examples, and supporting details. You should eliminate all sentences that stray from the point of the topic sentence.